Dead weight contracts on your team? Put 'em to work

Every team has some contracts that have zero value to the team's wins or losses. Here's a way your team can put them to work.

Posted by Royce at 7/10/2009 11:49:00 AM
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6 comments:

  1. AaronJuly 10, 2009 at 1:13 PM

    See, that post was significantly improved with a random photo of a beer vendor.

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  2. RoyceJuly 10, 2009 at 1:44 PM

    Sun Yue on the Lakers, or Raef LaFrentz on the Blazers. Guys who get paid millions to do nothing for your favorite squad. My buddy Shehab passed along an idea for getting some value out of these contracts - put them to work for your team doing jobs that you're paying other people for. Raef LaFrentz could be doing the halftime show for the Blazers, and then they wouldn't need a salary for some studio TV stiff. It's the most meaningful contribution he's made in years.

    DJ Mbenga on the Lakers could be a beer vendor in Staples, toting around a rack of Bud Light. He'd go through warmups with the team, then strap on the beer and start meandering through the aisles. If Bynum and Gasol foul out in the 3rd quarter, he'll just run back down to the scorer's table and drop the beer, rip off the warmups, and in comes our 4th big man!

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  3. RoyceJuly 10, 2009 at 1:45 PM

    I moved the text down below but kept the random picture... does that work, or is it too disjointed? Too spacious with a photo?

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  4. AaronJuly 10, 2009 at 1:58 PM

    I Think it's perfect because of "Here's a way your team can put them to work."

    That's what we need to strive for. A photo, a quip, and a lengthy discussion around an interesting/funny topic.

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  5. AaronJuly 10, 2009 at 2:00 PM

    I wonder what the text of of the player's contract looks like? I imagine they can't be a beer vendor, but what about a ball boy? Or the guy who wipes up the sweat when players fall? How about the guy who measures the rims during halftime?

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  6. RoyceJuly 10, 2009 at 2:29 PM

    Hahaha! DJ Mbenga running out to mop up sweat... Kobe's like "you missed a spot"

    I can't decide what the best use of Sun Yue is. We may need to make him a Chinese-language broadcaster during games. God forbid our top 4 guards foul out, he's going to leap over the media bleachers and onto the floor.

    You can also assign someone to be the mascot... what dead weight Padres contract would we make don the Swingin' Friar outfit?

    Meanwhile I absolutely would've wanted knee-rehabbing Shawn Merriman to be shooting the t-shirt gun into the crowds at Chargers games last year

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