BPL or EPL? Just roster all the Manchester players

I'm legitimately not even trying to bring anything original to the table anymore. The Manchester teams are incredible and score a ton of goals - just roster as many of their players as possible. Additionally, you have to keep Rooney in your lineup and captain him. Seriously, you have no other choice. It's a baseline requirement just to keep up with the Joneses in the ESPN fantasy game.

By far the most important advice I can give you: listen to the Men in Blazers podcast on the Grantland Network. Best thing I've ever put in my ears.

In lieu of providing any original or worthwhile analysis this week, I want to take a moment to rage at the ESPN Premier League Fantasy player prices. Who the hell is running this game?? Anybody? As just one example from the many, look at the price of Phil Jones for $6.0 (speaking of the Joneses, I guess). He appears to be a safe starter for the best team in the Premier League, has played the full 90 minutes in each of the past three games, has two clean sheets in those three, and in the most recent game got an assist and displayed some attacking dribble skills that rivaled most midfielders. He's a double-threat for a fantasy fullback - can rack up clean sheets for a top squad, and can come forward and attack and get bonus points that way. He currently has the 11th-most points at that position in ESPN fantasy. ESPN, WHY DOES HE COST ONLY $6.0?! That is cheaper than the cost of such immortal defenders as Fulham's Brede Hangeland and Everton's Phil Jagielka. Jones' teammate in the backfield, Chris Smalling, costs $6.5 even though he was benched in the most recent game but Jones was not. Also David Silva still costs only $7.0, which I think is just about the funniest thing I've ever seen in any salary game. Great work, ESPN.

Anyway, until Rooney and Aguero cost $20 and $15, respectively, you need to keep them in as your strikers. For your 3rd you might have some flexibility, although to me it really comes down to Luis "Anne Hathaway" 'Suarez' Suarez or Javier Cheech & Chong Hernandez. Sure there are other good strikers in the league, but the others seem MUCH more volatile in terms of appearances and performances than those two.

Any other EPL fantasy thoughts? What other salaries by ESPN that are particularly heinous?


  1. Neither Anne Hathaway or Chicharito acquitted themselves well this weekend, so the race for the 3rd best striker in EPL fantasy is wide open. Will it be Dzeko? Adebayor? Van Persie? Darren Bent? Agbonlahor?

    I can tell you who it definitely won't be: Fernando Torres. A truly epic whiff on open goal by him on Sunday. His reputation will probably never recover. (Maybe he was trying to make Rooney feel better about slipping on his ass taking a PK?)

    Even though I pooh pooh'd Smalling for being more expensive than Phil Jones, it was Smalling who scored a goal this weekend via header off a corner kick. But Jones was coming forward frequently and very nearly had an assist, so make of that what you will.

    Five midfielders might be the way to go... Nani had a great game and looks like a must-play along with Rooney and Young. Add in Nasri and Silva for City (alongside Aguero), and that leaves one extra midfield spot for someone like Juan Mata, Charlie Adam, Modric, etc. Weigh the value of that 5th midfielder vs. the value of the 3rd striker as your final starter.

  2. I think it's also important to consider the style of the team for the player in question. Say you needed an extra Mid - you're much better off grabbing a City M given all the opportunities to score and the talent of their strikers. A team like Liverpool, on the other hand, has a logjam at the Mid position, so even if a Charlie Adam seems to have more promise than a Yaya Touré, Touré might be the better choice.

    But I hope Adam plays better than Touré. Go on, you Reds.