Don't Tread

MP shared this rap about soccer with me, and I am passing it along:

Posted by Royce at 12/04/2009 03:51:00 PM
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14 comments:

  1. RoyceDecember 4, 2009 at 3:55 PM

    My mind is reeling from the fact that soccer (and Clint Dempsey "aka Deuce") apparently has better rap than basketball. This is unconscionable. By comparison, listen to LeBron James' "official song"

    I mean the guy had Paul Wall and Al Fatz (I loved "Came Down", but still) doing it... ugh

    Nonetheless I refuse to call Clint Dempsey "Deuce"

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  2. ScottDecember 4, 2009 at 4:05 PM

    I'll use this for my mini-analysis of the World Cup draw:

    The US sure got a better-than-exepcted draw (especially in light of being put in the "minnows" pot). To be able to start the match with a marquee matchup against England will be wonderful exposure for a hopefully well-prepared side. Assuming Gooch is healthy for the Cup, I could see us keep the game close. Unfortunately, I don't see the Three Lions as starting slow this go around (as they've done the past couple Cups) as they'll be geared to play the US, so this game nets us 0 points. Admittedly, I don't know much about the Desert Foxes or the Slovenians (what is their nickname, btw?), but I expect the US to take the full 6 points from them.

    After getting to the 2nd round, anything's possible, but I'd expect us to be up against Germany, who will give us a run for our money; I see us losing this as well, but hopefully we'll have a respectable showing after getting out of a relatively easy group. Let's just thank our lucky stars that we're not in groups B (toughest top-to-bottom) or G (easily the scariest in my opinion).

    The easiest draw? Les Blues (followed closely by the Azzurri) - MP has got to be ecstatic with how these past few weeks have played out for his homeland.

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  3. RoyceDecember 4, 2009 at 4:24 PM

    I think their nickname IS the Slovenians... as in, the Slovenians of Slovenia. They're not a particularly imaginative nation, you see

    Isn't Spain in the easiest draw? Or do they have tough matchups after their group phase?

    Isn't Germany always really tough in World Cup, and doesn't that mean odds aren't good at beating them? I feel like they are scary.

    Seems like there should be a lot of fun WC group games to watch this year. Time to start boning up on my FIFA 10 games so I get to know all the sides and their players.

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  4. MPDecember 4, 2009 at 5:17 PM

    I am extraordinarily happy with how the draw was drawn for France. At least this year's hosts are South Africa and not, yknow, Brazil or something. Then I'd be worried about being in the same group as those throwing the party.

    We keep talking about "moments" that will convince a skeptical American public that soccer can be a game for them. It was supposed to be Brandi and the Bra in 1999, but that fizzled right quick.

    US-England could do the trick. Good time for broadcasting, two teams who speak English, and some good old-fashioned colonial comeuppance thrown in for good measure.

    Don't Tread, bitches.

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  5. RoyceDecember 4, 2009 at 5:32 PM

    What is the best nickname for this USA-England tilt? Revolutionary War 2? The Colonial Comeuppance Cup? Tonight the Streets Run Red With Redcoats' Blood?

    Man I suck. I feel like Nicole would've had a dozen better suggestions in four seconds.

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  6. RoyceDecember 7, 2009 at 8:57 AM

    Just for the record, if I ever make it big as a professional - I dunno, badminton player? - my anthem is obviously going to be What You Gonna Do by Lil Jon. It has everything you'd want in a song.

    I would even keep everything about the video and just do a cameo during Lil Scrappy's rap. Maybe I'll have myself inserted so I'm the one saying his lines, I haven't decided. Or maybe just for the line "I'll make you hold your breaf longer than a Navy SEAL"

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  7. RoyceDecember 7, 2009 at 9:06 AM

    That last link was a clean version, which is inexcusable. No, here is the version I'll be using

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  8. AaronDecember 8, 2009 at 3:53 PM

    After listening to so many fake rap songs, (like the stupid Oregon Ducks one that I refuse to link out of principle**) I forgot what a good rap song actually sounds like. Thank you MP and Royce.

    **We here at FIWK refuse to link to anything that is a waste of your time. We also refuse to link to anything that sucks. We can call this the FIWK Standard****.

    ****Ok, now we need a vote:
    FIWK Standard: It doesn't suck.

    OR

    FIWK Standard: It's not a waste of your time.

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  9. AaronDecember 8, 2009 at 3:54 PM

    After some thought (check the time stamp), I am voting for "FIWK Standard: It doesn't suck."

    Because let's get serious, we do a lot of stuff that is a complete waste of time. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go see if Scott made his pick in the Crazy-Ass FIWK draft so I can make my ppick.

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  10. ScottDecember 8, 2009 at 4:21 PM

    I agree: "FIWK Standard: It doesn't suck"

    Note: I haven't made my pick yet...silly thing called work, ya know?

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  11. MPDecember 8, 2009 at 4:23 PM

    Agreed. This whole enterprise is a monument to things that would otherwise be a waste of time.

    Aaron, what did you think rap sounded like before?

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  12. AaronDecember 8, 2009 at 4:25 PM

    So we need a new mission statement buzz-phrase...?

    FIWK Vision: A monument to things that would otherwise be a waste of time.

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  13. RoyceDecember 8, 2009 at 4:52 PM

    I'm incredibly proud of FIWK right now. The fact that we posted a legit soccer rap that Aaron enjoyed makes me happy.

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  14. RoyceDecember 8, 2009 at 4:54 PM

    If I HAD to vote I'd vote for "It doesn't suck", but honestly I feel that is too self-conscious and too predictable on top of our already self-referential title F*ck if We Know. Every blog claims they're "just one humble opinion, pissing into the wind" - let's not be retreads if we can help it.

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